Father's Day

Today is a great day to celebrate our Fathers. I personally feel that fathers are just as vital as mothers in raising responsible, righteous children. Unfortunately, fathers have been ridiculed, and degraded in tv shows and movies, and for the past several years, society has decided that fathers really aren't that important. Young men are not raised to think about what their responsibilities as fathers will be and how to prepare for fatherhood. I think this is not only a disservice to the young men, but also a disservice to society and the preservation of Family.

I also feel that it is sad when Father's Day comes around and all those kids who don't have a dad, who for whatever reason, they can't look up to. My own dad was a great man. He worked hard to earn a living for the family and taught us right from wrong. However, he also taught me to fear him and that I was never good enough for his attention. He played a mean trick on me a few years ago that I plan on having a few words with him about when I get a chance. Let me explain.

I always tried to do my best to make my dad proud of me, and once in a while he actually said that he was, but almost never did he act like it. He never seemed to be interested in any of my accomplishments or anything I did. I really wished for my dad to pay attention to me and be interested in what I did, but it never seemed to happen. When I was still young, my dad got really sick. He had heart problems that stemmed from Rheumatic Fever when he was a little boy. He had to go to a doctor a lot and was hospitalized many times, but held on for many more years. He lived a semi healthy life until the spring of 2003 when he developed pneumonia. He was once again hospitalized and then later sent to a rehab center. He was still really sick, but my mom couldn't afford to have him stay at the rehab center much longer so it was decided that while my mom was at work, I would take care of my dad. Summer was just about there and I would have work off so I could spend most of the day with my dad. I planned on getting to know him better as he never shared stories of when he was younger with me, ever, but I planned on learning all I could before he could no longer remember details. I planned on bringing my kids with me so they could continue to be around grandpa and I could tell him all about what was going on in our lives. I was going to be a friend to my dad since I had never had the opportunity to get close to him before, but now I was going to be spending lots of time with him. I was way excited! I would also help him plan what he wanted to have done in his final days of life. You see the doctor told us he was dying. We were told that my dad would only have about 6 months left before his already weakened heart would give out.

The trick he played on me came just two days after I started caring for him and only a week after the doctor gave him his life sentence. I was up early getting ready for one of the final days of school (I was working as a one-to-one reading teacher at the time) and was blow-drying my hair when the phone call came. My husband answered and after a few minutes told me my mom was frantic because my dad wasn't responding and she thought he was dead. My mom has a tendency to exaggerate and I thought he was only groggy from the many medications he took. But I wasn't sure. I only lived a few blocks away so I flew over there. This time my mom wasn't exaggerating. My dad was dead. I've heard that when people die in their sleep, they go peacefully. I'm sure that wasn't the case for my dad. He had a pained expression on his face as if he had been trying to cry out for help. It looked like he might have tried to climb out of bed, but had only gotten as far as the edge of the it. I will spare all the other details of that day and the following week as we got ready for the funeral.

I was relieved that my dad was no longer in pain nor did he have to deal with a body that was dying faster than it should (he was only 64), but I was also mad! I blamed him for doing the only thing that would have stopped me from getting to know him! What a stinker!

Now at Father's Day, I am thankful for a husband who is a great dad to our children and takes a personal interest in their lives. I am thankful for a Father-in-law who was a great dad to his sons and who in turn taught them how to be great dads. And I am looking forward to the time I can chew out my own dad for leaving me! There will probably be time in eternity to get to know him better. In fact, I'm sure of it.